Today was a rough day. It all started the night before. I went to bed really late and Sarah had a rough night. I felt like she was an alarm that kept going off and I was just pushing the snooze button over and over again. I had woken up beyond tired and had little, if any, patience with Kaitlyn. Right when I woke up I was short with her and of course later in the day I felt bad on how I reacted towards her. During the afternoon she played outside with friends, but came inside crying over and over again. Either a friend was being mean, wasn't sharing, not getting her turn, someone riding her bike, etc... I was tired of the all the tears and since my patience was very little I just didn't feel like dealing with it.
I made dinner and fed Kaitlyn then got her in the bath. While she was in the bath I still had to feed Sarah and get her ready for bed. While Kaitlyn was in her bath she got water all over the floor and all over the bathroom rug. I told Kaitlyn it was time to get out and she wouldn't listen to me. After multiple times of trying to get her out I finally had to just lift her out and she freaked out. After that I was just done. I told her I was done. I couldn't juggle everything. I mean I probably could have if I wasn't so tired and had more patience.
Ryan, Kaitlyn and myself were laying on Kaitlyn's bed reading scriptures and when we were finished I leaned over and kissed Kaitlyn's hand and she leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. She then asked me, "do you love me?"
and I said, "yes, I love you."
then she said, "but you said you were done."
She knows how to break my heart.
I love you Kaitlyn more then you'll ever know. I'm sorry Mommy loses her patience sometimes. I just sometimes get overwhelmed with everything I need to do such as: dishes, laundry, cleaning, organizing, taking care of you and your little sister, errands, and trying to squeeze a little of "me" time in there. I love being your mommy and I'm so grateful Heavenly Father sent you to our family. You have been such a blessing and such a wonderful big sister. Sarah just loves you so much, it's fun watch. I just ask you be patient with Mommy. Sometimes I just have bad days. I don't mean to take it out on you. Again, I'm sorry. I love you. xoxo.
2 comments:
Don't feel bad Kristina! You're doing just fine. One day, when Kaitlyn grows up and has kids, she'll look back (if she ever remembers you losing your patience) and realize how hard it is and what a loving mom you are. Nathan and I think you're awesome and that you're the best thing ever for Ryan.
I know how that feels. Kristina you are a wonderful mom. It is so incredible to be a mom but that doesn't mean that it is easy. I have to keep telling myself that as well. It was nice to read this and see that I am not the only that this happens to. Love you!
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